My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
