dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
