Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
