i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
