I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
