i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
