he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
