Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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