Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
