why didn't you poke me back
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
