You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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