she was so not down for the gang bang
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
