im gay
i know
yea but for you.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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