Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so let's talk penis.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
