That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
