"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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