It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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