I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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