I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Where is the hickey?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
