I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
