Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
