That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The chlamydia really affected his face.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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