I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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