just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
