She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
