So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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