mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize