dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
