Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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