It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
