also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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