Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
