the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
