1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize