So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
