I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
