Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
