I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I can feel your judgement through the phone
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
