Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
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