if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
