i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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