they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
