Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
