Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
