I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
