just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
There's even glitter on my cock...
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