pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
