YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
