Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
