Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
