i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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