I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
