he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
