Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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