garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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