I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize