Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
