Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
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