it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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