Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
