id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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