Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I didn't shave. On purpose
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
