GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
