Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize