i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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