There is no way he is gay with that hair.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I need a beard to bite.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
